Funny Jokes

An older couple decide it’s time to get married

admin — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 19:58:17 +0000

An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living …

A state of the art watch

admin — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 19:51:15 +0000

A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies,”I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just …

An interesting day

admin — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 19:47:46 +0000

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We …

Wife has heart attack

admin — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 19:43:51 +0000

A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he’s dialing, …

A man had six children and was very proud

admin — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 15:55:08 +0000

A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, ‘Mother of Six’, in spite of her objections. One night they went to a party. He decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his …

A young brunette goes to the doctor

admin — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 15:53:24 +0000

A young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. “Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.” She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes. The doctor says, …

A amish boy and he’s father at a mall

admin — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 15:51:13 +0000

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, “What is this Father?” The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I …

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas

admin — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 15:48:09 +0000

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher.. He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for ill*gally grown dr*gs.” The rancher says, “Okay , but do not go in that field over there,” as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, “Mister, …

The perfect desert camping

admin — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 15:44:46 +0000

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip. Two days before the group is to leave Rob’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. Rob’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping …

A couple of women playing golf

admin — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 15:40:28 +0000

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell …